Genetic determinism is flawed and does not truly define you.
I was recently contacted by many of my readers asking me about the book that I’ve been writing and when it will be coming out. I so appreciate the support and interest from all of you. I am diligently, but somewhat blindly, working on this project. I say blindly because it is very new to me and I’m pretty much feeling my way along. I am, luckily, able to trust the research and guidance of all the beautiful individuals who are helping me with this process. Stay tuned. Believe me; it’s coming...
As I write, I reflect... I search my heart to make sure that my writings come from my heart, and that I always have pure intentions. I stop and think to myself: what was actually happening during this situation? I have became so mindful of who will read my book and what they will think about what they’re reading. I have become aware that, because of this constant self-checking, my own voice has sometimes been lost in my need for “cautious” writing. I’m constantly thinking of all the feelings involved and who might be impacted by my words.
Mostly, of course, I am concerned for the feelings of my loved ones. I want my sons to know that they are not their parents. They are their own individual selves and have the ability to create even more healing and change in their own lives. I refuse to be bound by my parents’ DNA, as well as my own, and so should you all. Our thoughts have a huge impact on who we are and we all have the ability to create changes in our lives and bodies. We know that these are inextricably linked, or if not, we should.
Our past does not define us. I say that a lot because I truly believe it. That being said, we have to take charge and create the changes needed and do the hard work to overcome our past. It is, indeed, very hard work.
To me this means I need to go back to the painful places inside myself and find the hidden triggers that may still be stored in my body. This is the journey I am sharing with you, my readers. I am sharing the emotions that come up while I am writing, but that will not stop me from moving forward on my journey. One thing I am not is a quitter. Neither am I a conformist. I am open-minded and that is what is the blessing for me in this entire process. It also helps me show why our past does not have to define us.
However, we are responsible for creating the changes that are needed to overcome our difficulties. It is common knowledge that our thoughts start a chain of reactions in our bodies, right? Our thoughts activate neurotransmitters, and these chemicals then send messages to our nervous system. Then, boom, our body responds either emotionally or physically.
I recall in grad school as an under-graduate writing a paper on the placebo effect. What a great research opportunity I had. Kind of like “If you build it, they will come.” For me, with grad school it was, “If you think it, it will be.” I always said that our body has an incredible way to adapt. What a beautiful thought, right? We are in control of that adaptation through the choices we make with our thoughts. All of this creates changes on a cellular level. Beautiful, right? I am happy to share links to help explain these theories; just contact me.
I have also been asked many times how I could have forgiven those who had hurt me? It’s a good question, but there have been many times when I have needed forgiveness. Why should I expect it from others if I cannot give it myself? But, going back to the changes we want to create in our bodies, I refuse to hold on to toxic thoughts and feelings because I know this is not healthy for me. Also I know that all of these toxic thoughts and feelings are continuously changing and altering my genetics, therefore my overall health and well-being as well. So now the choice is to keep feeding the negative affects on my body or change that.
Now all of this does not mean that you cannot feel the emotions triggered by the memories of the life you lived. So many times when I am writing the tears flow. But as a result , the healing release I feel gets stronger every day. I feel fear and anxiety and have even experienced various levels of depression associated with what I am writing about. However, I feel it, release it, and each time I edit, write, or talk about it, I know that systematic desensitization is happening for me. Those emotions have less power and hold over me. And I notice a decrease in the level of intensity as well. Healing is a beautiful thing....but it is all a process.
Some of the concepts I am sharing with you are metaphysical, these thoughts and ways of thinking and living come from a sense of awareness I have through my Faith.
These are not tangible and no valid empirical evidence. My Faith has always given me strength, however, there is a time when we reach a physical and emotional state in which we need to reach out for help through our support system. There are amazing Therapists and sources out there to help. I am blessed to have found some to help me when I was at my lowest and ready to give up on life. I encourage you to seek out a trauma focused therapist if your dealing with trauma, try to find a therapist that fits your needs, but reach out. We all need help and help can be found.
I hope you will continue to join me on this journey and please feel free to email me and reach out anytime. I am happy to help you find resources you may need in your area.